Bad Girl

I just did something I was not supposed to do... I weighed in a day early :( My weigh and measure in day is supposed to be tomorrow, and though I have been really good about my food (although I did eat two servings of pita chips last night) all week, I am only down 2 pounds. I know, that's still good, and I should be proud, but I really had this hope that I would lose like 5 pounds this week. It's hard to stay on track eating small meals all day and never feeling hungry when I don't feel like I'm losing enough weight.

This is my problem, and the reason I give up so often. Even though I have a lot of nutrition knowledge and self-knowledge and I know that eating a healthy and balanced diet, and eating all day long instead of 2 or 3 big meals toward the end of the day is the best for my body, not just my weight loss, but also my health. But I also know that when the scale doesn't change much and I have spent all week NOT feeling hungry, I think - well damn, maybe I need to eat less, then next week I will eat less, until I spend a week eating nothing but carrot sticks and slim fast shakes - at which point I will feel like crap, tired, cranky, nauseaus and depressed - and then I just give up the diet altogether. I do this all the time.

That's why blogging about this, as well as going through this life change with the support of my friends is so important to me. I find it to be much easier to get through it - and eat breakfast this morning (which I have never done on the weekends - at least very rarely and it's usually a big fatty brunch if I do)knowing it's the right thing to do for my weight and health.

So for today, my plan is to stay on plan. To do some yoga and get the house cleaned up so I can keep up on it this week. I know that next week when I add in my more intense workouts during the week I will up my weight loss from this week, and doing 20 minutes of yoga a day, and 20 minutes of cardio a couple of times this week has helped me raise my fitness level enough that I can try to keep up my work out schedule.

So, I am wishing myself luck, but I don't want to need it. I am instead going to wish myself happiness and self control. I know I have that in me.